Friday, November 03, 2006

Attack of the wide-screen TV

So they threw everything including the kitchen sink at me yesterday and I was AWESOME! 12 HOURS OF ORGANIZATIONAL AND TECHNOLOGICAL EXCELLENCE! For those that don't know, I work as an old-school A/V Guy. Been one since about 1969...

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Anyway, I had to move this big honking wide-screen tv from a basement lounge up to a first floor dining room - and I have under 30 minutes to do this before I have to be at the outdoor presentation where I am running sound. It's a big 72 inch Toshiba. So I'm rolling this monster down the hall, I get to the elevator, push the button, the door opens obediently, I step into the elevator and start to pull the tv in.

The thing gets in there, bumps against the back wall and about seven inches is hanging out onto the floor. Say what? How did that happen? I brought the thing down there in this elevator - maybe I just don't have it all the way in? (Stage one: denial.) So I roll it out a bit, then roll it back in and...same inches too long.

A little panic is now starting to set in. I don't have much time, and this thing has to be taken upstairs. Now how did we get it down here? Did we turn it?

So I shove it back out a ways, then, while turning it, I hump the thing back in there. And YES, it is going to make the turn, and YES, it is going to fit. And I get it in and the elevator door slides closed with a soft wooosh - and it slowly dawns on me that I'm BEHIND the tv and the elevator buttons are in front of the tv and the door is closed and the elevator is sitting patiently awaiting a command.

I go to the end of the tv and there's no way I'm fitting around it. And as the panic slowly starts to increase, I start having really brilliant ideas - "Maybe there's more space on the other end..." Um, no. But I'm freaking out by now, trying to work my leg around this big tv to hit the elevator button but to no avail.

So there's nothing left to do, I get my foot up onto one of the railings in there and shove myself up on top of the tv, terrified it is going to crash over into the wall. And with all my might, and all my stretch, from the top of the tv I can just barely reach the button for the first floor, I press it, and the elevator glides smoothly up from the basement.

Sometimes it's hard being an A/V zen master...


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