Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Treading Water

News has not been great. Viral buggies tough - won't give up the fight. I'm in this sort of purgatory, taking all these pills, giving them blood for labs every week, and nothing seems to change.

I don't know how I got to this point. I used to see people who look like me and I know I said, "Don't let me get to that point - pull the plug!" But there's been no plug to pull. Just a series of events that kept putting me back in the hospital through December - and here I am.

160 pounds, thin, limp hair, tubes coming out of my body. I'm weak, unsteady on my feet, unmotivated.

I've got to put on weight. They want me eating 2500 - 3000 calories a day but it's really hard. My stomach fills up so quickly. I never know how something is going to taste. I've burned out on the few things I could eat for the past month or so because I was eating them all the time.

Boo Hoo - I'm such a whiner...